“The dark night is God’s best gift to you, intended for your liberation. It’s about freeing you from your ideas about God, your fears about God, your attachment to all the benefits you have been promised for believing in God, your devotion to the spiritual practices that are supposed to make you feel closer to God, your dedication to doing and believing all the right things about God, your positive and negative evaluations of yourself as a believer in God, your tactics for manipulating God, and your sure cures for doubting God.”
Questions to Consider
Chapter Seven & Eight
Before reading Chapter 7, how would you define, “the dark night of the soul”? Has anything changed in your definition as a result of your reading?
According to the author, St. John of the Cross’s dark night of the soul is, “a love story full of the painful joy of seeking the most elusive lover of all …that God cannot be grasped…that God is no-thing. God is not a thing. And since God is not a thing, God cannot be held onto. God can only be encountered as that which eclipses the reality of all other things.” (pgs. 137, 138) How does this make you feel? What questions arise for you in this?
Chapter 7 opens us up to the reality of when faith and spirituality becomes foggy, murky, and muddled - “at least a cloudy evening of the soul” (pg.140). What aspects of your our spiritual life are foggy? Who knows about this in your life?
Chapter 8 includes an experience of watching for, waiting in, and talking to the dark. Is there anyway you can replicate this experience? If so, what would you want to ask the dark? What would you want to say? What answer would you hope to receive back?
“How many times have I rejected Love because it did not present itself in a way I expected, in a form acceptable to me? (pg.163) Is there any specific from your own life that come to mind when you read this quote? Is there an area in your life where Love may be outside your door, but you don’t recognize it because of your own fear?
Take a look at the quote above (one of Christa’s favorites!) How have you experienced any/all of this in your own faith life?
Contemplative Practice
Practice #1 - Reflective Walking Experience
As we move into the final chapters of the book, let’s take a moment to consider how we naturally pass through seasons in our life. Sometimes it is very dark, other times our path is well-lit. What season are you in? What are you noticing that’s unique to this season? What has the previous season taught you?
In effort to be radically present to the season of your soul, we are going to be radically present to the new season that we are in. SPRING!
(For those of you participating in this activity in a different season, please find a similar way to open up your senses to everything around you.)
Instructions and what you’ll need:
You can walk by yourself or with others. Each person should have 1 bag to carry the bits of garbage you collect as you walk.
Take a moment to consider where you’d like to walk - your neighborhood is a great start, but maybe it’s fitting to explore a new park or trail. You can take as short or as long a walk as you’d like. Dress appropriately. Enjoy the mud!
As you walk, see if you can be present and REALLY notice the following. Don’t rush through. Really take your time with each element on the list. If you’re walking with your family or group, take time to discuss each element as you go.
The smell of dirt. What words would you use to describe it?
The bird’s singing. Do you know the difference between a robin and a bluejay? What do you think they are saying?
The remains of winter. Is there snow and ice? Salt stains on pavement? Can you say a proper thanks and goodbye to winter?
The heat of the sun. Even if it’s cold out, can you notice the quality of heat and light from the sun at this time of year? Let it sink into your bones.
Rushing/moving water. Is there a lake or stream or creek that is flowing? What does it sound like. Take some time to really listen. How does it make you feel?
Colour. Can you notice any burst of colour with flowers or the greening of leaves? Notice the contrast between the last few months of winter, and also imagine what is to come.
Squirrels and rabbits and other animals. Have you seen any? Are they a bit “friskier” than normal?!
Flowers. Are there any early-spring flowers popping? If you can find some, get real close…lower yourself to the ground and see them at eye-level. Do they have a smell?
Buds on bushes & trees. Notice how some trees have buds and some trees don’t. How are the buds different from bush to bush and tree to tree. Take time to reflect what’s going on inside those buds.
In addition to collecting the garbage, make sure you bring back 3 stones/rocks with you. Any size will do.
When you return home, take some time to sit with those 3 stones. Each stone will represent something you experienced on your hike that brought you the most hope, joy, awe and delight.
You can either write a word on each stone, place them by a candle, or put them in a place where you’ll be reminded of the simple gifts and the hope of this season.
Finally, take some time to consider what emerged on your walk and how it syncs with your soul’s musings on the book.
**BONUS!: Now, once you’ve done this in the daylight, take time to do this by the night-light. Notice how sounds change in the evening, how your eyes adjust and see things in a fresh way, how the temperature is different, and how your sense of smell may be heightened. Be aware of any dangerous obstacles/hazards you might run into. Take time to notice the moon!
And, if you’re looking for more reflective walking meditations, head on over to Walking Church or the DIY Saunter Expereince
Practice #2 - A Lament Practice
Did you know there is a difference between grief and mourning? “The only thing the dark night requires of us is to remain conscious. If we can stay with the moment in which God seems most absent, the night will do the rest.” (pg. 147)
Grief is the universal feelings associated with loss - any loss. Sadness. Anger. Fear. Anxiety. Confusion. Fatigue. Loneliness - Just to name a few.
Mourning is the outward expression of the grief we feel. It’s grief “gone public”. It’s expressing our honest emotions, trusting that when their “let out”, they won’t turn on us and overcome us, but they will find their proper place.
This can be instructive to us right now as we pay attention to the dark in our lives. How can we stay conscious and honestly express our grief?
The most humane thing we can do is to feel the feels. We’re human. The more humane we act, the more human we become. And the world needs all of us to increasingly become MORE human, more humane.
There are 3 parts:
DISTRESS (and Complaint)
Take time to express your distress and complaint. If you’re a person of faith, you can direct this to God.
Here are a few you might want to use, but feel free to make up your own.
I am sad. My old normal is gone. I just want to go back.
I’m afraid. I don’t know what’s coming.
I’m angry and frustrated. Someone hurt me and I hate it.
I am tired. There’s so much adrenaline and anxiety of the unknown and it’s wearing me out.
I’m at the end of my rope. I’m not sure I have what it takes to hold it all together.
As you bring your complaint and distress forward, notice the quality of the energy in your body. Is there tightness, or a clenching rising within you? Let it be there.
REQUEST (and Appeal)
Take time to express your requests and appeals. If you are a person of faith, this is an opportunity to direct these needs to God. If not, perhaps you want to consider directing your needs to the source of your life, however you may understand that. Again, here are a few you might want to use, but make these your own.
How long will I be here? Help me to not push away this pain.
How will I get through this? I ask for wisdom and patience to act in ways that honour myself and others
How can I keep going? Help me to take my right next step with courage.
What’s coming next? I need love to guide me through all the changes to come - the ones that are easy to make and the ones that will be very difficult.
How can I keep it together during this dark time? Help me to have compassion for myself and others in the big and small things
As you bring your specific request and appeals forward, has the quality of the energy in your body changed? How does it feel similar and different from the distress/complaint? Let it be there.
REST (Trust and Surrender)
A Lament practice doesn’t leave us with our distress and requests. We are invited to move into a new posture of surrender and trust.
While I feel all my sadness, may I also stay open to the good and beautiful given to me.
While I feel all my fear may I also stay open to the good and beautiful given to me.
While I feel all my anger, may I also stay open to the good and beautiful given to me.
While I feel all my fatigue, may I also stay open to the good and beautiful given to me.
While I hold the end of my rope, may I also grab onto the good and beautiful given to me.
*As you sit with your heart inclined towards trust and surrender, how has the quality of the energy in your body changed? How does it feel similar and different from the distress/complaint and request/appeal? Let it be there.
All of our emotions belong.
A Lament practice is an important one - of release, allowing, and giving expression to our grief. Consider doing this often, in your own way, and also communally - we are in this together. May we grab onto Love, who is all around and everywhere, loving us with goodness and beauty.
Gratitude Practice
Each weekly resource will encourage you to stop, notice, and give thanks for something “dark” in your life. Counter-intuitive, indeed.
Did you know that our brains are wired to get stuck more easily to negative thoughts and images than to positive and beautiful ones? A regular gratitude practice will help to rewire and renew our minds. It’s a true reframe.
GRATITUDE PROMPT:
Consider a physical pain, ailment, challenge you are facing or have faced in your life. How does this body-frailty put you in solidarity with others who live with injury and illness?
Now take the 30 to 40 seconds to focus on how this physical vulnerability is leading you to compassion for others both near & far. Perhaps you’ll want to take a few minutes to send loving kindness to those you know who are struggling with disease and despair.
Additional Resources
Three More Podcasts - these are musts!
Perhaps you’ve noticed how helpful these extra resources have been to amplify your reading. Podcasts are a great way to learn from other wise guides, and these three podcasts are specifically chosen because of how they will amplify your own learning to walk in the dark. Take your time listening to them and consider any themes in these interviews with the other musings you’ve had throughout the book club.
Podcast #1 - Life after Dark with Barbara Brown Taylor ( Everything Happens with Kate Bowler)
Podcast #2 - How Wintering Replenishes with Katherine May (OnBeing with Krista Tippett)
Podcast #3 - The Soul In Depression with Parker Palmer (OnBeing with Krista Tippett)
