“What if I could trust my feelings instead of asking to be delivered from them? What if I could follow one of my great fears all the way to the edge of the abyss, take a breath and keep going? Isn’t there a chance of being surprised by what happens next? Better than that, what if I could learn to stay present instead of letting my anxieties run on fast-forward.”
Questions to Consider
Chapter Three & Four
On page 63 & 64, we learn that the fear of the night is called, “nyctophobia”. What things in your life right now bring you a sense of fear & dread, things you think about that you want to get as much distance from as possible - potential health concerns, death of a loved one, an upcoming decision you need to make, an uncomfortable conversation?
Then, Barbara Brown Taylor says this: “If I can summon the energy to put on my bathrobe and go outside, the night sky will heal me - not by reassuring me that I will be just fine, but by reminding me of my place in the universe.” What helps heal you by reminding you of your place in the universe? How might you move towards some healing today in these places of fear of dread?
Much of chapter three discusses how our modern addiction to light is actually harmful to our health and the health of the planet. In what ways can your very real and practical habits change, while you read this book, to quite literally turn off the lights and embrace the dark? Earth Hour is a contemporary ritual observed in March every year. Take a look here at an interesting take on Earth Hour and how you might commemorate it this year.
“A bed is where you experience your nearness or far-ness from God.” (pg.76). This sounds a lot like the effect silence, stillness and solitude can have on us as well. How much silence, stillness and solitude do you have in your life these days? Why might that be? What happens if you give yourself a bit more of these things?
Chapter four begins with a quote from Carl Jung: “Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people.” How have you found this to be true in your own life? What darkness within you has allowed you to be more compassionate to the darkness you find in others?
Take a look at the quote above (one of Christa’s favorites!) Now, what strikes you about that quote? What is your favourite quote from these chapters?
Contemplative Practice
Practice #1
Take a look at the following image, called an Emotions Wheel. And, just like there are many phases of the moon, there are many phases of our emotions, each with something to teach us if we stay present to them long enough. Take time looking at each emotion and draw a picture of what each emotion reminds you off. Or, take the words, and copy the example given on pgs.80-82 where you draw what the emotions feel like in your body. Feel free to use all or just some of the words from each category.
Practice #2
Use the poem called, "Sweet Darkness” by David Whyte. Read the poem 3 times slowly (or listen to the poet read it himself), taking time to notice which words or phrases stand out to you the most. Slowly ask yourself: “why might this word or phrase be striking me right now?”, “What does it have to do with my life?” “Is there something that the Divine is wanting me to pay attention to?”
Sweet Darkness
When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.
When your vision has gone,
no part of the world can find you.
Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.
There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.
The dark will be your home
tonight.
The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.
You must learn one thing.
The world was made to be free in.
Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.
Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn
anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.
“Sweet Darkness” from The House of Belonging by David Whyte
For your expanding interest…
If reading these chapters leaves you curious to explore more about the juxtaposition of light in dark, how technology can help us in our contemporary urban context, take a look at this fascinating TedTalk by architect, Rogier van der Heide.
Gratitude Practice
Each weekly resource will encourage you to stop, notice, and give thanks for something “dark” in your life. Counter-intuitive, indeed.
Did you know that our brains are wired to get stuck more easily to negative thoughts and images than to positive and beautiful ones? A regular gratitude practice will help to rewire and renew our minds. It’s a true reframe.
GRATITUDE PROMPT:
Consider something in your life where you feel particularly insecure, undone, in limbo, unsure.
Now take the 30 to 40 seconds to focus on how you are truly living the entire human experience by allowing yourself to feel these emotions. Be reminded that you are not alone and that there are many others feeling a similar darkness to you right at this moment. Can you send yourself and others some self-compassion? Can you allow God to share a compassionate word with you in these moments?
Additional Resources
Still looking for something more? Why not expand your knowledge and experience by feasting on these additional resources.
Barbara Brown Taylor was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey and here is the full length episode about the book for your enjoyment
If you’re not familiar with the Center for Action and Contemplation, you should! Here is another interview with Barbara Brown Taylor hosted by one of the Center’s faculty, Jacqui Lewis.
